Listen to your heart when finding your wedding gown. I’ve been in the industry over 14 years now and there is a scenario which plays out time and time again which i’d like to talk about . I feel quite emotive about this subject especially this week as i’ve had 2 brides finding themselves in this situaton ; so this is why i’ve chosen to write a blog about it .Choosing your gown and bringing family /friends with you to an appointment can make or break your choice of gown for your special day.
Its a sensitive issue ,which will create differeing opinions i’m sure , but from a shop owner’s point of view it brings distress to many brides who i have appointments with and of course we feel upset along with the bride if things don’t go as they imagined it to .
Many times i have said to my brides to be in the changing room and indeed infront of the people they brought to their appointment ; that its their choice as its their day, but many brides feel that they need that validation from a family member ,bridesmaid, sister or grandparent.
I can guarantee the NOT 100% of your family or guests on your wedding day will like your gown -a very sad fact but true ;this is because we all have differing tastes and it wouldn’t do if we all liked the same would it?
Its difficult striking that balance between having the gown you want and pleasing everyone ….sometimes it can’t be done – so why miss out on having a gown YOU LOVE ??
As a family member,friend or mother i totally understand that you wish your daughter/daughter -in-law/friend/sister , to look stunning and feel stunning and you will all want to be truthful with her , but how you voice your opinion to them REALLY MATTERS!.
Take a step back before you say what you think about the dress she has on, try to read what her facial expressions say ,her body language, its all important as well as your opinion to her .She will appreciate it more if you do take the time to see how she feels about a gown rather than voicing your opinion on what YOU think about it ,thats not what she wants to hear.Its not you wearing the dress and remembering this matters.
Asking her how she feels wearing the gown is key to her feeling that you care about her choice and understand her -not just that you tell her straight away that you dislike a gown as soon as you see it on her.
I always say every bride had a different journey to find ‘the one’.There’s no right or wrong way..not everyone will cry, this doesnt mean its not the dress for you .Some view it as a very emotional process, while others see it as an expression of their personal style. Regardless, don’t let anyone tell you what your experience has to be like!
Listen to your heart, not your mother!
A good wedding-dress retailer will zone in on what a bride wants, not the mother or the aunt or anyone else. I’ve had brides in tears many many times because their sister or family member has dismissed a dress she likes, and you can’t always be sure what motivates people to decide whether they like a dress. The shop owner or assistant can’t intervene for you in all of that, but we can give you support whispered in your ear, reminding you that it’s your day and it’s about what YOU want for your special day and that pleasing everyone by choosing a gown that they like as well as yourself may not happen or be easy, and will create upset you shouldn’t feel.
Most wedding dress shops are small and crowded ,especially on a weekend without your fiancé’s aunt joining the party. On that note, shopping alone for the first appointment has its advantages. You won’t have to listen to criticism from jealous bridesmaids or your mother insisting on a pouffy dress that makes you look more like one of those toilet dollies than the hot bride you saw yourself as being .
If you do bring along an entourage, “make sure they’re there to support you and not go against you,” theres alot to be said for bringing people who you know will be honest and tell you the truth but they also must be able to take a step back and remember its your choice not theirs , its a fine line between being truthful and giving you the answer you need .If they are sensitive to what you want and love then thats great, but the last thing you need is to be in tears because you’ve found the one and needed confirmation only to find that the people you wanted validation from hate the dress and are not reading your feelings about said dress.
My one piece of advice to any bride searching for their dream gown….many opinions will be given including mine ,but YOURS is the one that counts the most.
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY.
Need more advice? check out the following link. choosing your wedding dress