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Your guest list is one of the most stressful parts of planning your wedding. But as the bride and groom you shouldn’t feel the need to invite everyone you’ve ever met. Looking for some help? We can help with questions we suggest you ask yourself to help decide who should ( and who shouldnt ) be on your list .

1. Have I ever met them before?
Many brides and grooms are often introduced to people for the first time at their wedding! Shocking ! It can especially be the case with distant relatives and business associates of your parents and curbing family guest lists can be tricky. Your parents’ coworker who hears so many lovely stories about you both might like to see you tie the knot, but if you don’t know them is it necessary that they attend?

2. When was the last time I saw them?
We think if you haven’t laid eyes on a person in 12-18 months — or at least had a nice, lengthy conversation or talked via social media frequently , then you probably shouldn’t invite them.

3. Am I aware of the day-to-day aspects of this person’s life?
You should only be surrounded by people who are interested in your life and your relationship, and vice versa. This goes for who you are today and who you will be 5 years from now, not who you were 5 years ago.

4. Did I attend their wedding?
If you were at their wedding years ago but have since lost touch with them , you may not need to invite them. There’s no need to reciprocate if you’re no longer close. Only invite them if you really want that person back in your life.

5. For coworkers, what kind of relationship would I have with this person five years from now if we weren’t still working together?
It can be hard to distinguish the present from the future. People who you see every single day for at least eight hours now, may not be in your life long term. Don’t feel the pressure to invite the whole office !!

6. Do I spend holidays and birthdays with this family member/person?
They obviously mean alot to you if you do – big life events means they should be included in your celebration. End of story.

7. Are we inviting the rest of the family?

If you have several cousins but you’re only close with two, you should keep the peace and invite all of them.Tricky if you may not get along with some of them but its better to not wake a hornets nest !!

8. Am I comfortable being around this person?
Your wedding is a celebration yes, but a very personal experience. Would you want your boss there to witness your evening party shananigins !!?

9. Is this person a positive influence in my life?
Nobody wants anyone to be down or miserable at their wedding. But think twice before leaving them off your list , that invitation could be a very positive action to the person in question and shows that you care and want them to be part of your special day .

10. If we moved away, would we keep in touch? And if we were in town, would we call them ahead of time to let them know?
We think this is a pretty good test question for whether or not a family member or friendship is deep enough to merit a wedding invite.

11. Would you change the date of your wedding if they couldn’t attend?
If the answer is “yes,” then that speaks for itself. They are pretty important to you in that case, and them being at your wedding means the world to you and them.!

* see more tips on guest invitation planning via invitation planning with ‘the knot’

We hope your guest list doesn’t become too stressful !! , but remember the golden rule is that its YOUR day and those who matter most to you should be there, and if that doesnt include so and so from up the road that mum/dad has been friends with for years – stick to your guns!!